I was in a state known as “fallen away” for about 15 years, because I had never experienced what is known as interior conversion. I was going through the motions and so the purpose of religion and church felt like fishing with no hook and no bait. I wasn’t catching anything, and wasn’t learning how or why, and I didn’t know how it was supposed to work. So I stopped fishing and moved on, which I’ve come to realize was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.