In some of the shortest parables, Jesus delivers the deepest of messages regarding faith and meaning to believers and seekers. Take for instance the parable of the Merchant and the Pearl, where in two sentences Jesus explains the priceless reward we receive through him. The Merchant, having found this one Pearl, sells all that he owns to have it because nothing else, nothing in this world, even comes close to the value of it.
The Pearl is like what many of the Saints find when they realize the reward and consolation that Jesus grants us through his death and resurrection. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.” Thomas Aquinas said, “God alone satisfies.” Teresa of Avila said, “God alone is enough.” Repeatedly, we see this peace settle onto those with faith. They undergo drastic change by their belief in God. This is not the superficial change that comes from other pursuits, like money or vanity. This is true change.
With faith comes a gift of joy, but the world wants to suppress it and smother it. If faith isn’t giving me joy, then I’m not understanding it correctly. Those that profess their peace in Christ will have their joy tested daily, because just as his life and teachings threatened the Roman order, so does it threaten the modern empire of the Self. Those who worship the self find Christian faith childish and openly laugh at it. I certainly did. I mocked the faithful while I was fallen away from belief. But Christians can celebrate being mocked. It is perfectly fine to be laughed at, and almost an achievement in itself. Jesus prepared me for these moments:
“You will be hated by all because of my name. But the one who perseveres to the end will be saved.” Mk 13:13
I should not be deterred by this, for I do not need others approval; the only approval I should consider is God’s. So I must return daily to my faith, like a child. If I recall how I lost my faith in the first place, it was because I grew cynical in adolescence and early adulthood. I thought there were no more mysteries in life, and no God except the Watchmaker kind. But having regained my faith, I don’t want to lose it again. What I realize now is that my faith as a child made more logical sense than my doubt in adulthood.
“Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Mt 18-19
Thus when people smirk at these words, or openly jeer belief, this is actually a time to be glad. That alone is a clear indication that I am oriented in the right direction, toward God. To endure whatever comes, be it mockery, condescension, indifference, opposition, or even violence - can I remain humble and peaceful? Keeping the faith, like a child, is the correct path. The reward of eternal life through Jesus’ death and resurrection cancels any earthly insult. Nothing else on offer in this world can fulfill my heart and soul in the same manner.
I have already tried all of the other options. They all disappoint in the end. They come up short. Why?
Because they are not God, which is what I was really hungering for.
I don’t put myself into the Gospel scenes enough. I need to feel the emotion of Christ in the words. I don’t put myself into the scene of his Passion, but I need to start doing it more. How would I act in those trials and struggles? Would I fold up like a chair and crumble? Can I hear the people around me? Do I sense the tension, struggle, and pain in the words and actions? Would I even be among the crowd around Jesus, or shaking my head at them? I bet I would be, because the Romans and Jews and people of all nations who gathered to crucify him were the same as us today, they just happened to live before us.
I often find confusion in the readings. I used to give up and assume it was primitive fairy tales, but now I know I must speak to wiser believers about it, or read the writings of the early Church. Every rebuttal and question that I can think of has already been asked, pondered, argued, even fought over. Ask, seek, knock: if I shutter my mind when I come up against something difficult, then I have despaired and turned away. When I’m confused, this is precisely the time to discuss the words with other members of the faith. Find real people to talk to about it, and avoid online comment pits of conversation on social media. There is little or nothing to learn on social media. I must speak with people of faith, as “iron sharpens iron.” Far wiser people than I have gone over these words and remained solid in their belief.
Jesus and his teachings are what my soul wants. I am the Merchant and Jesus is the Pearl. If I return to my treasure daily, as the Saints did, and read deeply, and yearn for the spirit of Christ, he will guide my day, and ultimately my life.
“God alone satisfies.” CCC 1718-1722
